Confessions of a Bitter Person

I've been holding on to a lot of pain, harbouring so much anger and bitterness that now I feel like I'm poisoning myself. I feel choked and suffocated, all the clean fresh air has been sucked out of my life and replaced with this dark, painful atmosphere. It all stems down to a situation that was never confronted; a wrong that was never righted. I've been battling myself, trying to prepare myself for the great confrontation but the more I think about it, the harder it gets. I can't seem to let it go. 

Yet, there's a voice inside me telling me to cast my burdens unto Jesus (1 Peter 5:7), then another voice tells me that this is something I must take care of myself. My mess, my responsibility. However, I know what I must do, but doing the right thing isn't always easy. Today I've declared that I'm going to start the journey towards forgiveness. If I don't forgive, I won't forget. And if I don't forget, I'll never heal. So, if there's anybody out there suffering from anger, pain or whatever negative emotion, I urge you to let it go. Join me on a journey to setting ourselves free from the entrapment of dark emotions. It doesn't happen overnight or over a few days. It takes time. It could take months or maybe even years for us to get past it all, but we gotta let it go and carry on living a happy and healthy life. Don't beat yourself up over what other people did to you, because that battle is not yours. What goes around comes around and they will get what's coming to them. They may seem happy on the outside (just the same way you pretend to always be happy on the outside) but deep inside they could be reaping what they sowed. 

You feel like you've been knocked down to your knees, but believe me that's the best place to be in prayer. If need be, SHOUT it out, scream out LOUD, cry your eyeballs out until they are red and your nose is runny. But promise yourself that at the end of the day, you shall wipe those tears, blow your nose and clean yourself up. You've got to pick yourself up. You've got pick up the pieces and carry on. You've got to be resilient! Because when you hold on to anger, it is you who feels the pain. You constantly think of that person or that situation, and that depresses you even more. Therefore, your anger deepens. You lose yourself somewhere along the way and sometimes you feel like you've gone too far off the course to turn back. But it's never too late; you're never too far to go back to who you are destined to be. Let it go!