Christmas with Shanners

Christmas - a time to show love, have some peace, give and share and most importantly, a time to honour our Lord Jesus Christ as we commemorate His birth. 

Chocolate mousse

It's Christmas morning and Christmas songs are playing in the background, Chef Shea is in the kitchen bustling about, preparing Christmas meals. Shanners is holding her camcorder, taking in every single detail of the day, from the mumbled good mornings to the sibling squabble between her and her big sister, Shea. It was a typical morning in the Gutsa household, except with more buzz, more noise and more people. Aunty came down for Christmas and mum was getting ready to go home - Zimbabwe. Soon after Christmas breakfast, everyone gathered round to open presents (Yes, we're the keen ones who don't wait for Boxing Day to open presents - ain't nobody got time for that.) One by one, everybody opened their presents which were in a neat little pile for each person to find their own presents. There were highs and lows, some disappointments and some extreme ecstasy. 

However, it reminded me that the most important part of Christmas is being around your loved ones, commemorating Christ. We've pulled Christ out of Christmas so much so that it's losing its meaning as it is now hugely commercialised. I won't lie, I LOVE my presents and giving presents, but I also want to keep the spirit of the Lord alive in my life on Christmas Day so I won't focus on what I got (or didn't get), but on the fact that I've had a blessed year, I'm still alive and kicking and I'm surrounded by the ones I love dearly. 

On Christmas Day I made a chocolate mousse, with a twist. I added Amarula, my family's favourite cream liquer since Zimbabwe. I'm going to post the recipe to debut my new sub-blog which will be dedicated to my cooking and any recipes or anything related to food/eating habits. This blog shall be called (unsurprisingly) Chef Shanners. I always hashtag my cooking #ChefShanners and I think it's high time I blog about it! What I need though is to invest in an amazing camera for those times when lighting is just too poor that my phone's camera can't justify how yummy the food looks :P. I'm also hoping to grow my readership on both Just Shanners and Chef Shanners in 2015, sharing my stories, sharing tips and sharing food ideas! Hoping everyone has had a wonderful Christmas filled with love. It's not about the presents, it's about the presence of those close to you! One love

Xoxo

Chivalry is NOT Dead!

I repeat, "Chivalry is NOT dead!"

Chivalry; the word that most people nowadays have to read about in books, as it seems to be vanishing from our society, replaced by mean-spirited, sexist and insensitive beings. Having spent years and years being a hopeless romantic with such a positive attitude about most things, I've been living that pessimistic lifestyle for the past year or so, due to a series of unfortunate events which led to the (slight) destruction of my faith in humanity. Well, not that my opinion matters much in a world populated by at least seven billion people, but it does to the ones close to me.

Chivalry as we know it is still alive (hoorah!). I found it in the last place I’d have ever imagined to meet gentlemen, kind-hearted people, and a friendly smile, let alone a helping hand. This happened as I made my way back home from university. I have to pass through London (don’t we all :/ *sigh) and that means dragging my thirty-tonne suitcase up and down the stairs on the underground trains. When I first got to Liverpool Street Station, I dragged my suitcase slowly (it had all my books, I’m not a crazy packer :P). Everyone was about their business; hardly anyone paid attention to the girl struggling to pull her heavy luggage (well, to be honest, it wasn't really their problem, was it?) Then when I tried to carry it up the stairs, two men at once rushed to help me. I was surprised but so thankful because my back was already killing me! Only one of them carried my bag up and I could tell even he was wondering what on earth was in my bag! He took it up two flights of stairs and left me to my own devices as I dragged it to the platform.

Soon afterwards, when I had to get the Hammersmith and City Line from Liverpool Street, another set of steps presented themselves to me. As usual, I attempted to pull, and within minutes, the most handsome Italian guy I've ever set eyes on asked if I needed help. I grinned like a fool and allowed him to carry my luggage. He actually struck conversation and the more he spoke, the more I noticed he was gay :/ (The tight leather trousers, an undoubtedly feminine V-neck top, a floral scarf and the copy of Vogue in his hand should have given it away to be honest, but oh well). We parted ways when I got to the platform and I carried on with my journey.

When I arrived at Baker Street, another set of stairs presented themselves to me! (seriously, why can’t they put lifts or something for people like me L such discrimination should have ended in 1928 to be honest lol) However, another person offered to carry my suitcase when he noticed that there was clearly no way I was going to do it on my own. I was grateful once again, and thanked him as I carried on, with a big smile on my face. Once again, I had to get down to my platform, and that required me to drag my suitcase and pray nothing breaks. A nice Nigerian woman asked her son to help me carry my bag down. I had earphones in (guilty) so I couldn't hear her at first, until I felt some resistance when I tried to pull my bag down. That’s when I realised what was happening. Again, I thanked them both and carried on to my platform. (Yes, the journey was a long one and I had to connect trains like a gazillion times!) I finally got to London Marylebone (yay, escalators!), but before coming out, I had one more flight of stairs to conquer. Another nice gentleman helped me up and I just knew it’s going to be a great Christmas holiday! The spirit of loving, giving, caring, sharing and helping is definitely alive in this place.

You might be wondering, “Well, what’s so surprising about someone offering to help?” Well, the answer is because it’s the twenty-first century, and this was London! In London, most times I travel, nobody pays anybody any attention; people are too busy rushing to different destinations. When I’m in quiet areas like Aylesbury or Colchester, I rarely get such treatment. Not just in London, anywhere to be honest. We've all become too busy, too consumed by our “busy” lives to care about the next person. We've shut the world out and grabbed our smart phone to stay “connected”. If only there was an app that could carry my luggage for me or magically summon an elevator whenever I needed one, I’d fully rate this new age of technology! But, it’s nice to see more and more people willing to spread the Christmas cheer in the littlest ways possible, because it’s the small things that go a long way. A tiny spark can set the whole forest on fire!

Black Friday - The Negative Effects of a Consumerist Society

"Today is Black Friday!" and I say this not with excitement and enthusiasm, but with dread. While in smaller towns, people get on with their businesses, moving from one shop to the next prowling for bargains, the same can't be said for relatively larger towns and cities. When I woke up this morning, I logged onto Facebook and saw a video of the chaotic atmosphere in some Tesco store somewhere in England, and what I saw made me want to weep for our society. The pure animosity of the whole thing made me stop the video and pick up my laptop to type this up.

It is such a shame that we have grown increasingly into such a consumerist society, where we spend a lot of money on things we do not need but merely because it's on sale or "trending" (of which the trends change every few months - meaning you're frequently in shops looking for the next best thing), or purely for a hoarding disease which most people like to disguise as "retail therapy". We focus too much energy on what we don't have that by the time we get back home trying to pack it all away, suddenly our houses seem too small and so we want more space. With more space, it feels too empty so we go shopping again and this becomes a tedious, endless cycle which clearly needs to be broken. I am guilty too of compulsive shopping, but lately I've been trying to focus my energy on things that I DO have, bearing in mind that many people don't have it. Why waste my hard-earned money on cheap items that I will probably wear only once or twice before throwing away or getting tired of?

Many people are being injured severely while racing to a shop for sample sales and all sorts. The question that's burning on my mind is "Do you even need this, or are you buying it just for the sake of buying it?". Instead of saving up and investing in our future, my generation is guilty of satisficing and living in the moment without giving tomorrow a second thought. How then are we supposed to be future leaders when we channel our energy on trivial issues while our economy is going down the drain under our watch? We choose to turn a blind eye on things that affect us and wear our rose-tinted glasses all the time, but a time shall come when all this is gone and we need to face up to reality. We are drowning in our own greed, selfishness and hatred. We are not building anything concrete for the future of our children and our children's children and generations to come. We have very little to show for the time we've spent here, besides destroying the environment to feed our egos. to feel rich and powerful or merely for "banter". New species of animals are becoming endangered every year, trees being cut down, oxygen levels growing lower and lower as we destroy the ozone layer during the production of goods we don't even need. SIGH. I weep for our society...

BREATHE!

When life's demands are drowning you in a pool of emotions, 
don't forget to come up for air...

In the midst of all the chaos

All the countless deadlines and all that

pressure from life

The fear, the disappointment, the pain, the

anger or any negative emotions

Don't forget to BREATHE...

"What is Pretty?" - Final Day

It's been a lovely week altogether. I've been so busy trying to balance school work, part time job, a social life AND taking care of myself with some "me" time. I started doing the "What is Pretty?" challenge in order to train myself to love myself just the way I am. I also wanted to understand exactly why some girls simply cannot step out with no make up on. During the past few days when I've been trying hard to sleep on time but also do my assignments, I realised that sometimes one simply doesn't have enough time to sleep if they're chasing their dreams, so they wake up looking like a panda. Some people simply cannot casually stroll past hundreds of students looking like that, but I decided to brave it and just go with it, because this is exactly who I am. And I'm happy because not once, not twice, but three times I got hit on at work when I thought I looked my worst, with bags slightly showing under my eyes. I'm happy because I never hexperrerit :P Not getting big-headed or anything, it just felt good and boosted my self-confidence, even if it was only by a tiny fraction. But still, you get my point.

I have also learnt that there's nothing wrong with wearing make up. Make up is fun and it's fun to play around with different shades, different looks and try out different brands! However, the whole point of this was to show somebody out there, anybody reading, that you shouldn't wear make up because of the pressure around you. You shouldn't wear make up to please somebody else. If there are insecurities that you're concerned about, fair enough, but my message to you is "embrace yourself!" If you do wear make up, make sure you wash your face thoroughly but gently before going to bed to avoid spotty, blotchy skin. Eat well and drink at the very least 1 litre of water every day.

I've also realised that my skin was getting too attached to make up that it no longer has that smooth feeling it used to have only a few months back. Even my eyebrows, they're shedding because of manipulation with them brushes and eyebrow kits. Make up actually ruins my skin and makes me become more reliant on it, buying more and more products in an effort to "look good". (Swear these manufacturers are smart, aye? Get you addicted and hooked for the rest of your life. Business will ALWAYS be there.) Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that I should start taking greater care of myself, take in more and more water for that smooth skin and try to leave my eyebrows alone whenver possible. I plan to only wear make up when I feel it's necessary i.e. when I'm dressed up or when I look like a Halloween mask, or maybe just for bants. My final look for today is this:

Do I feel good about myself now? Heck Yeah!

I'm wearing a smile because I know that at the end of the day, somebody out there somewhere is going to have to take me as I am, and I'm going to have to embrace myself and love myself even more without feeling less of a woman or less "glamorous" simply because I have no make up on. Make up is a mask; I'm choosing not to wear mine every single day of my life. Hope you've all had a lovely weekend and I do hope somebody is even the slightest bit motivated to look after themselves better! The problem isn't make up; the problem is society making us feel as if we're inadequate if we don't have make up on; the problem is the photoshopped model in the magazine setting unrealistic standards of "beauty"; the problem is that we're not taking care of ourselves enough hence we do feel inadequate at times! :D

xoxo

How To Look Good Naked - "What is Pretty?" - Day 5

Today is the fifth day of the challenge and, well, same old story. I'm feeling great and taking better care of myself. I do miss make up sometimes, especially when I wake up in the morning looking like  panda! But that teaches me to try and sleep on time and not waste my time idly, doing nothing useful. 2 more days to go and I will nominate someone else to try this for a week!

Do I feel good today? Take a guess :P

xoxo

How To Look Good Naked - "What is Pretty?" - Day 4

Today is the 4th day and I'm really happy! Not once have I succumbed to the temptation to at least fill my eyebrows in as they carry on looking all patchy! As for the healthy-eating part, I need to up my water game because at the moment I'm only consuming 1ltr a day, which isn't enough. I'm going to push it to 2ltrs a day, that's 4 bottles. Last night I washed and cleansed my face and I feel alright today :D

Do I feel good today? Yup

How To Look Good Naked - "What is Pretty?" - Day 3

It's the third day of my "How to look good naked" challenge today. Once again, last night I didn't do anything to my face before going to bed *sigh*. However, I did get enough sleep and drank some water before bed. Yesterday I resisted the urge to eat chocolate late at night before going to bed, since I'd had my dinner of mixed leaf salad (rocket, watercress and spinach), balsamic vinegar, a sliced mini frankfurter, cherry tomatoes and a sliced boiled egg. I ignored the urge to stuff my face off and drank plenty of water instead to stay hydrated through the night. This is what I look like today:

Do I feel good today? You bet I do!

How To Look Good Naked - "What is Pretty?" - Day 2

Today is the second day of my "How to look good naked" challenge. Last night I didn't do anything to my face before going to bed, which is bad. I also slept with my face pressed against the pillow, so I was really expecting to see dark circles and crinkles on my face. I didn't get enough sleep either (only about 5 hours), but I did drink some water before bed. This is what I look like today:

Do I feel good today? Oh yes :)

I don't see changes in my skin because it's early days yet, but I'll try to stick to my meal plan, drink plenty of water and get enough sleep! I've fought the temptation to eat chocolate or spread nutella on my bread this morning, which was such a challenge as chocolate is one of my weaknesses. I'm proud of myself so far, although last night I'd almost forgotten about the healthy-eating part and nearly ordered a takeaway. I ended up having a mixed leaf salad (rocket, watercress and spinach) with balsamic vinegar as dressing and slices of roast pork chops to add flavour. I quite enjoyed that meal :)

xoxo

How To Look Good Naked - "What is Pretty?" - Day 1

So, last night I set myself a challenge to go a week with no make up on. Today is the first day. Last night I cleansed my face and moisturised before going to bed. I got my 8 hours of undisturbed sleep and drank water before I slept. This is what I look like today:

Do I feel good today? A little bit. Slightly concerned about my eyebrows, but oh well :)

How To Look Good Naked

You must be very curious as to why I chose this title for this post. Well, read on... When people hear or read "someone was walking down the road naked", they immediately imagine embarrassment, shame, people mocking said naked person, they even try to put themselves in said person's shoes and their faces screw up in horror! Nowadays, it's such a shame that a lot of us feel "naked" when we walk around with no make up on. It's almost the same kind of notion that comes up with people literally walking naked in the streets. Heck, I've met girls who REFUSED point blank to come out of the house with not a bit of make up on, let alone venture into town! (*gasp* God forbid!) I'm still uncertain of the root cause of this, but what I do know is that society plays a vital part in this catastrophe. Which brings me to the first and possibly main point of this post. What is pretty?

Is "pretty" being covered with layers upon layers of makeup? Is "pretty" painting yourself into an unrecognisable individual just so society can accept you as a normal human being? Is "pretty" what you see in magazines, those airbrushed models photoshopped to perfection? What, really, is pretty? I know plenty of people have very low self-esteem when it comes to how they naturally look. We all have insecurities. Those who know me well know how insecure I am sometimes about my bra-size and how much I wish I was different, but one thing that keeps me going is knowing that nobody is perfect. Everybody, even the Angelina Jolies and the Lauren Londons of this world have their insecurities and plenty of things they'd like to change about themselves. How then, you may ask, can you look good naked? It's psychological.

The way you project yourself to the rest of the world is exactly how they view you (kind of like a reverse self-fulfilling prophecy). Those people who just automatically become confident around new people tend to find it easier to settle in with others than those who shy away at first. When you walk with your head high, people admire that confidence that they look past your "flaws" and embrace you just the way you embrace yourself. I mean, who's going to want to love you when you don't even want to love yourself? Ponder over that. This week, I'm going to challenge myself to spend the whole week with no make up on, and FEEL good about it. I wasn't born wearing make up and make up is now distorting what I was naturally blessed with. It's all about taking good care of yourself! I do understand that some people have major self-esteem issues which date back to maybe their childhood or some traumatic unfortunate event or the other. However, I believe in rising above it rather than admitting defeat. Society will always have an opinion, so, I suppose, do what makes YOU feel good. And I hope you don't feel "good" when society feels good, when those "likes" keep rolling in as you're hiding behind that mask. MAKE THEM see you the way you truly are. Make them accept you as you are, don't let them change you into what THEY want you to be. Just be you, BEaUtiful.

How am I going to achieve this, walk around naked and actually feel good about it? Well, I am going to drink plenty of water as I know it helps your skin to become smoother. I am going to eat clean and healthy (so, no chocolate, no crisps, no junk food) and best of all, I'm going to sleep on time. Sleep is vital because if one doesn't get enough sleep, one wakes up looking like a panda (I know how that feels). However, please please please don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look "pretty" or wearing make up. I'm going to carry on wearing make up once in a while when I feel like it. I just don't want it to dominate my life to the point where I cannot allow anybody to see me "naked". I'll be posting a photo daily showing how I look "naked". I shall groom myself, of course, and that always makes me feel good on the inside, which in turn makes me feel like I look good on the outside. This is a challenge as I have patchy eyebrows, but I am going to learn to deal with them, brush them well and present them well so they look "half-decent". Let's do this!

#WhatIsPretty

#JustShannersChallenge

xoxo

How to Look after Your hair

I've become somewhat obsessed with hair ever since I made the decision to go natural 2 years ago. Back then, I had very little knowledge on how to go about this whole "natural hair" business, but I was surprised to discover that for years, there's been a lot of blogs, vlogs and websites dedicated to natural hair enthusiasts and curious individuals like I was. I've gathered so much information that my brain could burst (more on that in another blog), and sometime I amuse myself by just how many little "tips and tricks" I know when it comes to taking care of my hair.

When I big-chopped, April 2013

Let's be honest, everybody wants to look good. Some prefer being a full-time weave type of girl, while others (like me) like to change our look constantly. I had decided to go natural initially because I wanted to get dreadlocks (more on that later), but decided against it because that would practically be my permanent and only hairstyle! *yawn*. I've been experimenting along the way with different protective styles and discovering what best suits my hair. Here are a number of ways I protect my hair and encourage growth:

1. Braids

box braids

Anybody who really knows me well knows that lately I've become a big fan of braids. Braids make life so much easier for me because I just wake up, shake up, tie up and go. I moisturise my scalp regularly with my own concoction of water, cantu shea butter leave-in conditioner  and a drop of tea tree oiltea tree oil to soothe my scalp, and then seal in the moisture with either coconut oil or jojoba oil. I can do box braids then twists or marley hair twists which are more like my natural hair texture. I can styles it up however I want to unlike weave which I usually cannot tie up into a bun without exposing my tracks from the back (the struggle is real!). However, like anything related to styling your hair or generally trying to improve your appearance, braids have their own pros and cons.

Pros:

• You can keep them in for a long time, between 4-6 weeks
• You can style them in so many ways
• They're relatively easy to maintain and do not require too much attention

Cons:

• Braids are notorious for damaging hairlines due to tightness. I've personally struggled for a while with thinning edges due to braids that are too tight. We've all seen many people whose hairlines now seem to begin int he middle of their head by the soft-spot due to hairstyles that are too tight. You don't want to be that girl. *shakes head*
• Braids, especially chunky box braids, tend to be too heavy on your hair, thus hair falls or thins out due to being stretched too much. 

How to look after braids and to avoid the cons:

• Avoid tying your hair too tight in a ponytail or bun as this actually increases the chances of a receding hairline.
• Don't forget your actual hair is also still attached to your scalp, therefore moisturise your hair daily to avoid a dry, flaky scalp (nobody likes a dry, flaky scalp. Eurgh)
• Make sure you wash your hair! Many people believe that washing your hair in braids will loosen them, therefore they shouldn't. True, the braid becomes a little loose at the root, depending on how you handled the hair during shampooing. However, products, sweat, dust and dead skin cells build up on your scalp, and the resulting smell is a little bit hideous. I'd encourage you to wash your hair about weekly or fortnightly to unclog your pores so your scalp can actually breathe, and also to get rid of any "subtle" smells. I personally wash it once a week and sometimes once a fortnight, depending on how busy I am.

2. Weave

Purple-ish Brazilian weave with lace closure

Sometimes you just get tired of having the same hairstyle, same texture, same look for a long time! When those times come, change is needed! My second favourite protective style is weave, because I get to have a different texture of hair without compromising my own natural texture. I can have straight hair without having to straighten my natural hair and ruining my beautiful curl-pattern. Weaves are also perfect for winter when the winds are cold and the weather is too harsh on your hair. But, as with braids, weave has its own pros and cons, and here are some of the ones I usually weigh out to decide whether or not to have a weave sewn in.

Pros

• You can choose ANY hairstyle you want when it comes to weave; short, long, straight, curly, experiment with colour, pixie cut without cutting your actual hair? What's not to love about that!
• You can keep them in for as long as you like (between 4-6 weeks recommended)##
• Your hair gets to rest and hide away from the harsh weather conditions.

Cons

• Weave tends to make my scalp itchy. Last time I got a weave done, I developed some bumps resulting from the tightness of the cornrows, which are still hard to get rid of. 
• It is very bad during summer when it's just too hot and you get all sweaty and that
• If the weave is installed too tightly, it can damage your hairline.

3. Wigs

Lace-front wig

I believe that this is an absolute essential for me - a wig! Although I usually just wear a wig once or twice in a year, (maybe more, depending on the crisis at hand), I love wigs because they are my saving-grace when I'm having a bad-hair-day! Sometimes tying a headscarf just won't do it, and sometimes it clashes with what I'm wearing. The perfect wig is what I need to not panic too much when I haven't sorted out my own natural hair. Like every other hairstyle, wigs have their pros and cons, more so cons, hence why I rarely wear them.

Pros

• Very easy to maintain and you can let your hair breathe once you get home and take it off
• You can keep an eye on your hair and moisturise it very easily compared to weave
• You can choose whatever style, colour and length you want
• Great when you're trying to hide hair loss

Cons

• Wigs are notorious for causing alopecia (hair loss). Many women who frequently wear wigs now have receding hairlines.
• Wigs tend to encourage laziness as the user feels no need to bother with their natural hair
• Like weave, wigs are a pain in the butt during summer, with all the heat and the sweat. Eurgh
• A good wig is usually expensive, but it's up to you to decide whether it's worth the cost or not.

To be honest, protective styles in themselves, be it braids, weave, wigs etc, tend to encourage laziness as people leave their hair alone for a month plus. Having the idea that your hair is now safe and sound underneath the protective style is dangerous and could lead to damage to hair. Remember to moisturise and seal your hair with an oil or leave-in conditioner to ensure it grows. Also, it's not just about what you put on the outside but also what you consume. Eat clean, drink plenty of water and your hair will show you its appreciation by not breaking easily, growing steadily and generally looking good appearance-wise! Have a fabulous weekend and remember, hard work pays off.

The beginning of the rest of my life

My new home <3

Last week saw me beginning a new chapter in my life as I moved away from home to start a new life acquiring higher education at university. Many people who know me well would remember that last year I made a decision NOT to go to university but pursue a career in Accounting through apprenticeships. My parents, as ever supportive as they are, were backing me up and supporting my decision. However, at just 18 at that time, I knew I didn't really know what I wanted to do for the rest (or for most) of my life to come. I decided to take a gap year. Again, my parents supported me and encouraged me to work hard and make plans that will actually benefit me in the future rather than waste the year away. The year wasn't wasted at all, in fact, taking a gap year was perhaps one of the best decisions I've ever made. During that gap year, I moved out and lived on my own for three months, working and saving up for my volunteering trip to Tanzania and also buying myself things. I became independent, which was the first step towards growing up into a responsible adult. A few months in, I decided to apply for university, having decided that the university experience would help me to be even more independent and responsible as I'd be managing my time for studying, social life and work. I'd also learn to budget my money and plan ahead for my goals. I told myself that if things didn't work out well for me at uni, I could always drop out and carry on with the apprenticeship idea. So I applied and here I am now.

All the way from HP20 to CO4, roughly 96 miles away from home, I moved in to what will be my home for the next 3-4 years. I must admit, I was quite nervous as I'd only briefly exchanged "hello"s with my flatmates on Facebook prior to moving in, but what kept me steady was knowing that everyone else was probably as nervous as I was! My flatmates seemed nice at first glance, and we've had great fun together since the first night, We're all different in our own ways, but we get on really well together. My friends from home were there as well as new friends I made via freshers page, which made my first week at uni less daunting. Freshers' events were like something out of The Great Gatsby, however. My flatmates and I went to The Squares to join in on the freshers' fun going on that night. As we drew closer, I could hear what sounded like a water fountain/massive waterfall and got really excited. I imagined something like the Waterfall in Dubai opposite the Dubai Mall which dances along to music. However, I couldn't have been more wrong! "The Squares" - where all the shops, banks, restaurants, club and bars as well as classrooms are, were filled with hundreds of students wanting to "turn up" and have a great time. The noise that sounded like a waterfall or a buzz was the noise from the conversations going on among so many people. They all looked like tiny ants from afar, with barely any room to move around to get to the Sub Zero club where the main event was to take place. There was broken glass everywhere, empty beer cans and fizzy drink bottles all over the floor and about eighty percent of the people around us were either tipsy or very drunk. We were (or at least I was) really shocked! Of course I knew many people would be getting smashed at freshers,  but this wasn't what I expected at all. It was quite comical, though. There wasn't any violence (at least n one that I witnessed) and people seemed to be having a merry drunken time! However, my flatmates and I weren't really feeling the scene as we were quite tired from all the unpacking we'd been doing - unpacking which I'd only half finished as I went a little OTT with my shopping, oops (shoppaholic alert!)

It took me about 2-3 days to finally get my room in order, and even then, there's still too much stuff everywhere. I just thought, oh well, that'll have to do, I registered with the doctor, registered with the university, collected my free textbooks courtesy of the uni and tried to prepare for the second week when seminars commenced. Throughout the week I tried to be as friendly as possible, spoke to people, swapped numbers and snapchat IDs and went to as many events as possible. Then alas, freshers' flu caught up with me! It was bound to happen, one day or another, I suppose, But I'd hoped I'd get lucky or at least fight it off within a day or two. It's now 5 days later and I'm still struggling, feeling meh :/
Over the weekend there was the freshers' fair where societies and clubs were recruiting people to sign up. I was meant to be there recruiting people for the volunteer opportunity with the FutureSense Foundation under their Challenges Abroad programme (the same company I volunteered with earlier this year in Tanzania under their Gap Guru programme) as I decided to become a challenge leader at the University of Essex next summer. However, for some reason I'm yet to know about, our stall got cancelled, which means we missed out on a chance of attracting potentially hundreds of sing ups for the trip. However, I've been utilising social media and word of mouth to spread the word, inviting my flatmates by telling them of my own adventures, and I even bumped into one interested individual who told me about this amazing volunteer opportunity in Tanzania, not knowing I'm the one leading it! I was glad that people are inviting other people, which is good.

Yesterday, seminars commenced and they were pretty boring to be honest, but I stayed alert and took some random notes because I know that all the information is relevant. I'm actually more organised now, using separate books for separate modules and I'm proud of how mature I've become in just one week! (well, kind of). I haven't really been homesick except for once, and I've spoken to my parents twice now. This is the beginning of the rest of my life, as this chapter unfolds to open new doors for me and my future! I'm going to work hard and play hard to make my parents proud! I'm now looking forward to the next few weeks when things get deeper and more intense!

Believe Me, I'm lying...

He poured his heart out to me,

Like torrents of rain on a gloomy Friday night in the countryside

I was young and naive, vulnerable and fragile

Cynical, I never was. 

Trust, love, second chances and faith were the food to my soul, 

without those, I was as good as a withered rose.

He poured her heart out to me, he poured it all out.

Naive as I was, useless and too trustful, 

Gullible and fragile, I took his word for it. 

I've hated, I've scorned, I've been angered for his sake. 

I've cursed and I've hurt; I've provoked for his sake. 

I've lied and I've cried each time I blamed myself for his misery. 

I never loved myself enough to think, to believe, to imagine 

That I could be a good and worthy person - oh no. 

Then he poured his heart out while I sat there and listened.

The dark clouds, a symbol of the storm that was fast approaching, 

Were merely some cute fluffy grey clouds to me. 

How was I to know that it was a sign? How was I to know?

As vulnerable as I was, he entrusted me with important information. 

He toasted me with his cries like I was a piece of bread, waiting to be devoured

He even buttered me both ways, and in one bite, I was gone.
Young as I was, I listened to his story. 

'Believe me' I heard him say, and I took it all in like a helpless child. 

But if I had listened more carefully, I would have heard him whisper softly in the shadows of the night, 

'Believe me, I'm  lying...'

20 July 2012

Fish Can't Fly

I meant to complete this post last week before A-Level results, but I'm just in time for GCSE results. I remember back in the day when I was sitting my GCSE exams, after which I had a loooooong, relaxing 3 month break before I had to collect results. I remember on results day, walking into the assembly hall at The Grange School, watching my peers all in tears; some tears of joy, others of disappointment. That really made me a little anxious. So, I know exactly what some of you are going through right now but I just wanted to share a few words.

Many people will judge you by your academic achievements, because, let's face it, a good education is the "most priceless possession one can have". However, what our society tends to forget is that, we can't all be good at everything. Imagine this scenario - A fish and a bird were arguing about who was better than the other. Wise owl was watching this from a distance with much interest and fascination, so he decided to teach them a valuable life lesson. The fish and the bird were challenged to do two things in order to decide who was "better" than the other. The first test was to get to the top branch of a tree, however they wanted, as long as they didn't get assistance from anybody else. Effortlessly, the bird lifted its wings and flapped a few times and UP it went, plonked itself onto the branch. Meanwhile, poor fish wriggled and wiggled on the ground to no avail. So the result was that the bird was actually better than the fish. The fish, crestfallen, started to retreat to its pond, when owl reminded him of the second test. He told them to swim underwater in the pond for 5 minutes without coming up for air. The fish's face lit up as he thought, "Now, that's my thing!". He dived into the pond and so did the bird. However, within a couple of seconds, the bird came up for air, choking and coughing away. So the result was that the fish was indeed better than the bird. Puzzled, they both turned to the owl. "We've both won a round each, so who is better?" The wise owl looked at them with a smile on his face and said, "Neither of you is better than the other." You see, judging from the ability to get to the top branch of a tree, the bird was better than the fish, but judging from the ability to swim underwater for 5 minutes, the fish was a star! The thing is, they both thrived when they were "in their zone", doing the things which they're best at.

The point of this adapted short story of mine is that, we can't all be good at everything. You may not be academic, but you've got other equally important talents to exhibit to the world, such as singing, dancing, sport, etc. Don't let your grades define you because Fish can't fly, but they sure as heck can SWIM! Good luck to those collecting results and others awaiting life-changing decisions.

Have a great week

xx

"Let go and let God"

I came across a thought-provoking Instagram account on which the owner posted a textgram saying "Let go and let God is basically doing nothing and allowing "god" to do it for you? Good luck with that". It got me thinking how wrong and misled he or she must be, but it also got me thinking how wrong some believers could be. If anyone believes that the phrase "let go and let God" means "Sit your behind down and do absolutely nothing and a miracle will happen", this post is for you. Some call it faith, but in my opinion, as a believer myself, that's stupidity for lack of a nicer word to describe such atrocity. Here's why I say so, and this is just one way of viewing it. There are plenty of ways one can see or understand the phrase, but this is how I see it. 

Imagine you're a fashion designer and you've come up with this brilliant idea that's gonna break new grounds. As a believer, you let God know about this great idea and thank Him for bringing it into your mind or for giving you a creative mind. After that, you sketch it, find the right material and make the piece, advertise it in every way possible, but NOT FORGETTING to pray about it, asking God to "bless your hustle" (lol). You then stop worrying about it because you've already "Cast (that) burden unto Jesus, for He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). Now THAT is how I would interpret the phrase "Let go and let God". It doesn't mean sit down and do nothing and expect God to perform a miracle and a physical garment would just appear from your imagination. It doesn't work like that. The phrase is a simplification of 1 Peter chapter 5:7 (Cast your burdens unto Jesus for He cares for you) or perhaps even Matthew 6:33 which says "Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you". That means, stop worrying, leave it to the cross. It doesn't mean, "Don't go to work, just wait at the end of the month and your bank balance will miraculously reflect a fat paycheck." As if! So in case you've not been practising this just because you misunderstood or misinterpreted that phrase, I hope now you're going to be able to Let go and Let God. Have a great weekend!

In it to win it

I remember when I was just a child, there was a very popular event called the OK Grand Challenge Jackpot Promotion, hosted by the big supermarket chain OK (not sure if they're still in business or not). One year, to promote the event, they made a very catchy advert that's been on my mind for over 10 years! The slogan for the ad campaign was "You've gotta be in it to win it!". People had to enter the prize draw or competition or whatever it was, in order to win the jackpot. That phrase has also stayed with me for a very long time. True, sometimes I forget about it and rarely apply it to my own life, but recently I've realised what a great life lesson this is. 

In life we have so many goals, so many things we want to achieve and make a name for ourselves. We've got so many talents that we wish to improve and use for fun, for good or to improve our lifestyles. We watch the Oscars, BET awards, all these prestigious events on TV and say to ourselves "One day I'm going to get that far. I'm gonna chase my dreams until they lead me to this." Yet, 10 years later we're still sat on the same couch in the same house watching the same programme uttering the same statement. Why? Because we forgot the most important part of making goals: we actually have to DO SOMETHING in order to get that recognition, achieve those goals or walk on that red carpet. You can't expect to win the lottery without buying that ticket, you can't win the dance competition without actually competing, and guess what? You can't achieve those goals until you start ACTING upon them. You've gotta be in it to win it! You've gotta start doing something to achieve something. 

Have you ever seen a farmer with a large piece of land who waits all year round for crops to come out of the ground? First, he has to plant the seeds, then water the plants and remove weeds. He also needs to apply fertilisers or pesticides, tending to his crops throughout the season until the harvest season comes. Without sowing the seeds, the farmer has no harvest. The same applies to your life. If you do not make an effort and do nothing at all, you will reap exactly that: NOTHING. That being said, I resumed my journey towards fitness yesterday, starting with a 40-minute session of P90X cardio workout. I hope to achieve my goals by the end of the summer, by being consistent with my eating habits and exercise! Let's make it our motto/mantra this week: "I've gotta be in it to win it!" 

Enjoy a productive week! xx

Confessions of a Bitter Person

I've been holding on to a lot of pain, harbouring so much anger and bitterness that now I feel like I'm poisoning myself. I feel choked and suffocated, all the clean fresh air has been sucked out of my life and replaced with this dark, painful atmosphere. It all stems down to a situation that was never confronted; a wrong that was never righted. I've been battling myself, trying to prepare myself for the great confrontation but the more I think about it, the harder it gets. I can't seem to let it go. 

Yet, there's a voice inside me telling me to cast my burdens unto Jesus (1 Peter 5:7), then another voice tells me that this is something I must take care of myself. My mess, my responsibility. However, I know what I must do, but doing the right thing isn't always easy. Today I've declared that I'm going to start the journey towards forgiveness. If I don't forgive, I won't forget. And if I don't forget, I'll never heal. So, if there's anybody out there suffering from anger, pain or whatever negative emotion, I urge you to let it go. Join me on a journey to setting ourselves free from the entrapment of dark emotions. It doesn't happen overnight or over a few days. It takes time. It could take months or maybe even years for us to get past it all, but we gotta let it go and carry on living a happy and healthy life. Don't beat yourself up over what other people did to you, because that battle is not yours. What goes around comes around and they will get what's coming to them. They may seem happy on the outside (just the same way you pretend to always be happy on the outside) but deep inside they could be reaping what they sowed. 

You feel like you've been knocked down to your knees, but believe me that's the best place to be in prayer. If need be, SHOUT it out, scream out LOUD, cry your eyeballs out until they are red and your nose is runny. But promise yourself that at the end of the day, you shall wipe those tears, blow your nose and clean yourself up. You've got to pick yourself up. You've got pick up the pieces and carry on. You've got to be resilient! Because when you hold on to anger, it is you who feels the pain. You constantly think of that person or that situation, and that depresses you even more. Therefore, your anger deepens. You lose yourself somewhere along the way and sometimes you feel like you've gone too far off the course to turn back. But it's never too late; you're never too far to go back to who you are destined to be. Let it go!

Facing Challenges

This year I vowed that I'm going to try my best to try something new every now and again, live a little and "expand my horizons". Having spent the past 20 years of my life living the average life with little to no excitement, climbing Kilimanjaro was a huge stepping stone (quite literally too) in my life. One reason why I took up this challenge (besides charity), is to open my eyes to my own capabilities. The day that idea was conceived was the beginning of a chain of events that have led me to where I am today. By far, I'm not yet where I want to be, but I'm not where I used to be this time last year - confused about what I really want in life, fresh out of high school and living on my own for the first time with a full-time job that required me to become a responsible adult.

I have a passion for art, writing, singing and fashion, more so art and writing than fashion but nonetheless, these are my passions. In this world full of talented people working hard trying to realise their dreams, sometimes you feel too small to begin anything. You feel as if if you have no connections in the big world, you can't make it. Which is true in some cases. So you end up sitting on your talents because it's too challenging to pursue your dreams. Facing challenges can help to build you or break you, but I think it comes down to you and how much you want it to work. Earlier today I was reading an article about the interview between Oprah and Tyler Perry. Tyler opens up to Oprah about his past, his challenges, having to be rejected and disappointed 8 years straight while trying to produce his first play after investing all his savings into it, being abused and using his anger and past as a motivation to do better for himself. For 8 years he was a nobody, but what appealed to me the most about that interview is when he said that dreams don't die; people just give up. Sometimes it is a choice you make to remain "a nobody" or to become somebody. Don't give up.

That being said, I've promised myself that I'm going to work hard to realise my dreams, finish writing my first novel, finish designing my first piece and finish writing (and maybe even producing) my first song. Because each challenge has to start somewhere. Once one thing has passed, it will be challenging to carry on, but at least it's one giant step towards my dreams. If I sit there all day watching TV or reading a novel or listening to music, dreaming of the day when my own material will be published, that dream would just rot and never come to fruition. I'd lose that talent sooner or later, while watching others live to see their dreams realised. I don't want that, so that's my challenge for the month. What's yours?

Enjoy the rest of your day x

Self-fulfilling Prophecy vs. Self Sabotage

"You're stupid!"

"You can't do it"

"You're too weak"

"You are good for nothing!"

These are just some of the phrases many people (if not all) encounter in their lifetime, whether at home from their parents, with friends or out in the Big Scary World. The most obvious reaction to such horrific words and diminishing behaviour is to feel worthless indeed; to feel like a failure. One ends up not putting in any effort at all because they know that everybody is expecting the worst of them. That is what some would refer to as a self-fulfilling prophecy. However, I beg to differ.

I'm no psychologist at all, all my words are based on the study of Communication and Culture in high school and also some cases I witnessed first hand. That being said, my analysis is based on a small scale and mainly personal opinion, so I declare in advance that this may not be true for your case. Let me argue my case against my own opinion to begin with. The thing is, one can argue that no matter how much we deny it or how much we feel otherwise, we live in a very controlling world. There is no complete freedom. You can express yourself but only if it doesn't offend someone else (and it does, all the time). You can say whatever you want just not this particular thing or the other. Even those "rebels" who do not like to "follow the crowd" aren't completely free either; they have to obey the laws and a part of their being is still attached to mainstream society. The words and opinions of others greatly influences our behaviour, whether we like it, realise it or not. So what people define you as, you become that. That is very true - in some cases. Now, my argument is that, although the previous statement may be correct in many cases in everybody's life, no matter how much society can influence you, you still have a choice. Your mind is so adamant that it can help you to have that determination to prove people wrong. That's your ego right there. That is why rebels rebel in the first place - to try and remove themselves from the clutches of this "malicious" and controlling world. So when I see people letting go of their dreams, I just can't help but think that they are sabotaging their own success. Success doesn't happen overnight; neither does it always occur at first trial. Many people have had to keep trying and be turned down before they reached their goals and beyond. They often heard, "Sorry, you're not good enough", or "Sorry, you can't do it" and many other negative comments that may have belittled them and made them think less of themselves. However, a true winner knows that you gotta get up and try again and again and again. You will fall, but you must be resilient. You will lose, but you must try again next time. (Read the biographies of Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey and Albert Einstein for references)

I know a person who is capable of greatness. When I see this person, I see determination and passion over what they do, I see a dream so beautiful they cannot wait to see it come to fruition. But when I look a second or two longer, I see fear and self doubt, possibly generated from outside influence. They've got the potential and all, but they keep listening to the voices. After a while, though, I start wondering, is the voice coming from other people or is it a seed of negativity planted within them by other people's comments, which germinated into this thorny bush, making sure that each time their heart thumps with a great idea, it gets pricked and hurt and retreats back to its shell and the dream gets buried in the back of their mind along with countless other projects dumped mid-process. It makes me so sad that indeed sometimes I am one of those people; sabotaging my own progress for fear of failure and because of people telling me I can't do it. I let myself down the moment I let myself believe that I can't do it without even trying. That is why I call is self-sabotage. You see, people may call you stupid, they may call you a failure or a liability to society and you believe it and your mind believes it so it limits its abilities, but you shouldn't do that! You should not sabotage your own success and claim you're not meant for it. Perhaps your family has never succeeded before in that field (or any venture for that matter), but there's a first time for everything. You could be the one to break that cycle. You tell yourself your family was doomed to fail, yet you haven't even tried, for crying out loud! How will you know? You've failed once or twice and then gave up? And then you boldly say that it was your dream? If it was your dream indeed, you would get up and keep trying til the end of time, because that is what you're passionate about. Stop making excuses and start making it. 

Too Young To Make a Difference

Sigh. Writing the title of this blog almost drained me of all my energy and dried up my mouth. I am officially lost for words! Right, first of all, I am a 20 year old girl who is currently on a gap year, awaiting the start of her first year at university in September. To not beat about the bush, I am what most people would call "young". As a young lady, I've been told many times that I'm "too young" to do this, "too young" to focus on this; basically, I'm constantly reminded that I am young. Unfortunately, most young people live up to the standards people set for them e.g. "You're too young to achieve such a huge task". Sound familiar? Well, fortunately for me, I choose to ignore such negativity in my life, well, 90% of the time it is plain negativity to be honest, and allow myself to let my being determine just how far I can go, how much I can do with the "little experience" that I have of life. When I decided to take a gap year, many voices told me it was the biggest mistake ever and that I should just go straight to university. The whole purpose of this gap year was to discover myself, discover my capabilities and discover what I really want to do with the rest of my life. Plunging straight into the university hype with little to no knowledge of the real world seemed (to me) a greater risk than taking things slow, one step at a time. So I went ahead with the gap year and I experienced so much in just 1 year. I moved out for a job for 3 months and lived on my own, a time during which I got an idea of what being independent is all about, I went on an adventure teaching in Tanzania, I climbed Mt Kilimanjaro and went on safari: I can truthfully say it was the best decision of my life so far. I just wish more young people would feel the same way and not limit themselves by setting goals so low; afraid of failing because society says they're "too young" to achieve anything great.

The reason why I am writing this post right this moment is because I've been inspired. Yes, who hasn't, you may say, but I haven't been as inspired as I am today. On Saturday the 14th of June, I had the privilege of attending the first ever Zimbabwean International Women's Awards (ZIWA) ceremony at the Macdonald Burlington Hotel in Birmingham, courtesy of Simba, a man who believes that young people like me can achieve great things if they put their mind to it. I met many women who have achieved phenomenal things I couldn't keep my excitement in! At the ceremony, a young girl of 16 called Maud Chifamba received an award for her academic achievements and how inspirational she is to young generations; she started university in Zimbabwe at the fresh age of 14!  I was mind-blown. I mean, at 14 I was more concerned about "Do I have enough food in my trunk? When is the next visiting day?" and all kinds of trivial issues most teenagers think about. But this girl, (You can read her story here or here), against all odds, worked so hard to achieve great academic achievements, such that they made her carry on to higher classes and eventually end up at university at just 14. Many people might have possibly told her something like, "You're too young to go to university, who do you think you are?", but she showed them and the rest of the world that age, poverty or lack of support is never a barrier between you and your dreams; it is your attitude towards life and your capabilities that stands between you and your goals. If you're passionate about, work hard for it. If you work hard for it, you will always find a way forward! So if you're a young person reading this, what excuse do you have for not being awesome? You are never too young to make a difference; the fact that you exist on this planet means that you are an integral part of a great network - without you, society is handicapped. Don't limit yourselves, guys; go on and be awesome!

Have a great week

xx

Week 6 in Tanzania, days before the climb!

"There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
There's always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose"

The final week before the climb was hectic! I was busy trying to help the kids learn their lines and stop using the scripts altogether. It was a tough challenge for them and at some point I felt like giving up because we were running out of time. However, these kids never stopped to impress me!

We went on to prepare costumes and having fun all throughout the week. I had to pull them from lessons from time to time in order to rehearse, and then the day finally came! It was also my last day at the school with them, and I can't even begin to describe how emotional it all was. The performance was beautiful it brought me to tears, but unfortunately there is no recording of the actual play. Below are extracts from rehearsals taken by Amanda on her ipad, and some singing rehearsals from my camcorder. Sound on the videos here is sometimes off because Amanda had unknowingly been blocking the speakers. But the action will speak for itself, I hope :)

click here for the song rehearsals video

Before the performance, I took pictures of the characters in their "costumes", something that I will always cherish (the pictures) as I can look at them and relive the Tanzanian days! At the performance, Mama Anna, the founder of the school on whom the story is based, graced us with her presence. Daniphord also came and took loads of pictures. All the teachers were present and the rest of the school lined up to watch the performance which was in a promenade style. There were showers on the day, but that didn't stop the performance. Afterwards I was asked to give a speech but I hadn't prepared myself for this. However, the words that came from my mouth, came from the bottom of my heart. I reminded the kids about everything that I'd taught them, and I told them to remember that education is indeed a light that will shine their paths to greatness. I reminded them of how privileged they were to be in school when other children had to work, herd cattle or do chores for their large families. The whole experience opened my eyes as well, because here in England, education is free until university, and even then, you have a foundation for your life, you can make something for yourself; yet we take it for granted and choose a life of delinquency. 

After my speech, Mama Anna gave a moving speech too! She is that kind of woman who is so humble it gives you chills. When she opens her mouth to speak, every single word is laced with compassion and love, and I couldn't help but shed a tear or two when she presented me with a kanga (a cloth) and said, "May it protect you from the rain, wind, sun and mud as you've endured all that throughout your time here!" The headteacher announced of my leaving, and the kids started to cry. I couldn't help but cry too. We had an awkward group hug full of tears - tears of joy and also sadness that I was leaving now. The rest of the afternoon was rather melancholic, even though I tried my best to cheer them up with candy! It was indeed an experience of a lifetime!

the kids were crying after the performance! aw

Friday night I went out for a meal at Mt Meru Hotel with Amanda and Theo. The live band was playing and it was busier than ever! The service was really slow but it was happy hour so we occupied ourselves with drinks. We made plans to go swimming the following day, before Amanda and Theo would go to pick up her other son, Ben. Saturday I went to the Maasai Market to buy more souvenirs, and then went back home to rest in preparation for the first day of the climb the following day!

xx